Batman Repents
by Cardinal Bunal
Summary: Bruce Wayne decides to vacation to Rome when he hears imminent threats about a terrorist act.


BATMAN REPENTS

A NOTE FROM THE AUTHOR: Awhile back, I wrote a story called "The Last Pontiff", about a Pope who wanted to do reforms inside the Roman Church. Think of this as a revision and reworking of that story.

Rome.

Pope Jacobos is dressed in his white robe and red chasuble; he is otherwise known as Cardinal Jaime Recuerdo, 51.

He stands before a 15 year old girl, dressed in a sweater and pajama bottoms who is writhing on the floor. The girl's Mother, a woman of 49, Italian like her daughter watches in shock as the pontiff bends down.

Pope Jacobos is holding a polymer statue of Our Lady of Fatima, the white visage with the blue robe. Ever so iconic. Pope Jacobos declares, "Watch this..."

The demon/girl cringes in fear as Jacobos brings the statue close to her face...

"Pero no tienes miedo con esto, verdad" (You're not really afraid of this are you?) The Pope asks the demon.

The mother yells in Italian, "Will you just help my daughter!!"

But the Pope is unvexed by the agitated mother. He says, "They're not really afraid of the statues... or any of the sacramental objects... they just fake it."

The demon starts yelling, "Follate! Follate, Santo Papa!" (Fuck you, fuck you, Pope!)

The Pope goes on with his soliloquy, the girl still writhing before him on the ceramic floor, "For close to 2000 years. Their only purpose was to oppress God's chosen... so they can fake fear of the sacred objects; and affirm Rome's false practice of using idols and icons!" The Pope is now facing the girl's mother.

The girl's mother just says, "For Christ's sakes would you just help my daughter!!"

The Pope smiles. "That's why I came." The pope turns to the demon/girl on the floor.  
"In the Name of Jesus Christ of Nazareth, I cast you out!"

Silence.

The Pope then affirms, "See, it's actually quite that simple... faith as small as a mustard seed."

Gotham.

Inside a supermarket, people bustle with their purchases in food, toiletries, fruits and wet products. A TELEVISION set is turned on and there are speakers at different areas in the grocery store so people can here.

A clock reads 8: 00 PM.

BANG! A loud pop explodes startling everyone inside. The Security Guard goes down; a huge stain of red on his chest.

A ski masked man is at the doorway of the grocery store carrying a .45, 1911 pistol, he shoots one of the salesclerks in the forehead!

"All right, everybody... this is just... routine..."

The TV declares: "The Pope will be live in a few minutes, to address his crowd about the upcoming Vatican 3 convention, so please stay tuned."

The thug says, "This is routine, and goddamn cliche... I want everyone's wallets."

Then, out of nowhere, Batman suddenly appears, dressed in his black body armor, cape made of the sophisticated memory fabric and horned cowl; this startles the already frightened crowd! Batman says, "Would that include mine?"

The thug grabs a 31 year old lady, dressed in a brown coat and skirt and trains the pistol to her right temple.

"Budge an inch, the bitch gets it." The thug declares menacingly.

Batman squints. He considers this.

On TV, The Pope speaks: "I've decided to make changes inside the Roman Church.  
changes in dogma, changes in belief of the faith... but all these should also be done in order to serve Christ's greater cause of compassion, and mercy... and love... especially in dire times... in violent times..."

Batman leaps, outstretches his cape and disappears from the villain's line of sight.

"This woman's blood is in your hands, d'ya hear me??" The thug declares.

BANG! The thief actually shoots the lady, blood bathes him after that millisecond of point blank fire, and Batman lands on him! - only too late.

Batman lifts him by the collar of the shirt and hurls him to the far side, to the shelves containing canned goods!

The Pope's quasi-sermon is very audible through the speakers... "For it is in dire and trying times that we are required to exercise compassion, and love... especially to those who scorn us; who know no decency and even those who mock society's laws."

Batman starts beating up the thug. The sound of nasal cartilage breaking. His helpless moans.

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry! I'm sorry!!" The thug pleads.

The Pope continues on TV: "It is the true test of virtue... to display altruistic mercy, and love for fellow man and woman, friend or foe that sets us apart from every other creature that walks the earth."

Batman lets the villain fall on his rear on the grocery's floor.

Batman disappears from the premises.

Bruce Wayne is inside his Command Center. He wears only jogging pants, and he has a white towel over his shoulder. Alfred, dressed in a white polo shirt and dark pants stands behind him.

"I failed, Alfred." Wayne says.

"Batman isn't infallible, Master Wayne."

"But I have to be... just like the Pope." Wayne then gestures towards the flat plasma screen showing a replay of the Pope in his speech addressing St. Peter's Basilica and the TV cameras.

"If pontiffs were infallible; they wouldn't be needing to change dogmas time and again... it seems that this new Spaniard of a Pope is going to make a complete overhauling in Roman Catholicism." Alfred reasons out.

"Alfred... I'd like you to get the transcriptions of chatter that Lucius managed to salvage from NSA Signals Intelligence Directorate... it's about terrorist activity; opposition to the new Pope changing the status quo..." Wayne says.

"I'm sure the Pope can manage without Batman, he has the Swiss guard."

"KGB shot Karol Wojtyla didn't they?"

Lucius Fox, a man of 70, African American, dressed in a gray coat and overalls walks with Bruce Wayne in the huge Research and Development Warehouse of Wayne Enterprises.

"Now, it wasn't the KGB that fired per se on John Paul II, Mr. Wayne... but the gunmen got to him because that's what happens when the super pastor wants to exercise gallantry over prudence." Fox informs Wayne.

"The Swiss Guard have guns?" Wayne asks.

"Sig, full auto pistols at their disposals, Mr. Wayne... but they'd stick to their rapiers most of the time." Lucius then asks, "So you're actually going through with this, sir? I was wondering if you'd look into any 'Sicilian connections' to Gotham's underworld while you're in Rome?"

Wayne shakes his head. "That's irrelevant, now Lucius. With the Joker behind bars,  
Gordon at the top of his game... I'd just want to be there for a vacation... And I think I'd like to see this big change in the Roman Church, make sure it happens."

Lucius shows Wayne something draped over thick fabric; Lucius takes off the cloth, and reveals; an elongated object, with sleek wings at the side. The object, as with the usual "Bat-gadgets" has a black finish.

"It runs by remote, and it can carry your suit all the way from the US, to the Vatican"  
Lucius continues, "If you decide to go for a ride, with it, you lie supine from where we're looking at it, this is the ventral side of the glider..."

Both wings of the glider have metallic straps attached to it, and it has a slight convex protrusion, where the "head" of the rider or the supposed Bat-suit would be.

Inside the Pope's quarters; Pope Jacobos is speaking with his Italian crony Fr. Mandare.

"We are bound to make enemies, with this new endeavor, Your Holiness." Fr. Mandare says.

"If you love the world, you do not love the Father; Signor Mandare... tenemos que cambiar las cosas que tener estar cambiado." The Pope replies.

"Changes, indeed." Mandare agrees.

Wayne and Lucius Fox overlook the Gotham City skyline from the Wayne Enterprises building, it is about 9: 00 AM.

"Do you believe in the sincerity of the new Pope, Mr. Wayne?" Fox asks.

"As long as he doesn't have a tendency to create tribunals that would slaughter millions;  
or someone to take money as to put fascists like Mussolini into power... Nah, I think those days of Catholicism are over. My parents were Catholic; the Church has been nothing less than a benevolent entity these days... I think I believe in the new Pope."

"Then, I hope you enjoy your vacation, Mr. Wayne." Lucius replies with a big grin.

In the Major Crimes Unit, the murderous Thug from the grocery store speaks with Commisioner James Gordon, he is behind bars along with several inmates; he now as an untidy beard, and he has bandages wherever his features are in his face.

"He assaulted me!! That's not fair! And I guess, Batman knows nothing of Miranda Rights; and doesn't have to answer to Internal Affairs or stuff like that does he,  
Captain?" The thug complains.

Gordon answers, "I'd say you had it coming."

"Un-fucking-fair!"

"The Batman is always fair...even if he does go over the edge; it's for a reason." Gordon says.

Gordon's cellphone rings. He retrieves it from his pocket and takes a call.

"What?!"

Inside an apartment building; the Joker, dressed in white sentry-man's clothes, stained with blood converses with his colleagues. He also has his make-up on.

He speaks to Juan, 24, Latino wearing only a sleeveless shirt and pants.

"Thanks for the help, Mano." Joker says.

"No problem, mano... as long as you promise us wealth when we go to Rome." Juan replies.

"We're not gonna be running into the Bat in Rome, are we?"

"No, I don't think so... but taking the Vatican will require ... practice." The Joker says,  
"And are you willing to do some 'on the job training', Johnny boy?"

"Salon de Rose?" Juan asks.

"Yes."

"I'm gonna make sure those fags go bankrupt!"

A Pontiac Bonneville is being pursued in the streets of Gotham!

Chasing it are 2 police cars sirens wailing and beacons flickering; Juan is on the steering wheel; and the Joker is on the passenger side. Juan is dressed in a dark leather coat; the Joker in his purple suit.

The Joker says, sotto, "Come on my homophobic hermano, we can do this!"

Juan suddenly hits the brakes; the car screeches to a halt; leaving the police cars a couple of feet within approaching distance.

The Joker and Juan get out of the car; and they both throw themselves prone on the pavement!

.45, 1911 pistols drawn - they fire staccatto at the oncoming police vehicles!

The tires of both police cars are compromised and the cars come to a screeching halt as well. The first police car collides with the Pontiac.

With the grace of an I.P.S.C. sharpshooter; the Joker replaces his clip for another one and opens fire on the interiors of both police cars!

The lives of police officers wasted.

Juan then cheers, "Hahahaha! Motherfucking fags!" And like a juvenile delinquent he bothers to give the cop corpses the finger.

The Joker frowns at this and says, "You know, these people had families and they were married, we could... at least refrain from making judgments about their gender orientation."

Both Juan and the Joker re-enter the Pontiac. Juan still being the driver; they speed away into the night.

As the Pontiac Bonneville seems to be a solitary vehicle on this night; a black, flying object seems to be descending; and then - charging its way in mid-air towards their vehicle!

It's the Bat-custom glider.

Juan makes an effort to veer away from it; but the Glider crashes onto the car's windshield.

Juan loses control and the vehicle is forced to a sidewalk; where it crashes into a brick wall.

The glider, makes an upward descent, the tip of its nose angled towards the night sky.

It then makes its way home to the top of a concrete building - where Batman stands;  
holding a remote control. The glider lands gracefully behind the Batman, his mission accomplished.

Inside the Wayne Manor, Bruce is dressed in a white bathrobe. Alfred in his black tux and pants.

"Looks like I won't have to cancel my vacation, after all, Afred." Wayne says.

"But I'm not reassured of Arkham's security measures, as long as The Joker is still alive... I'd say... The Joker was the devil himself. Not even the FBI have found out who he really is... or was."

Pope Jacobos stands before the statue of Our Lady of Guadalupe.

He looks sullen.

"2 millenia, so many errors..." The Pope says to himself.

Inside a learjet, the Joker sits cozily, sipping red wine from a goblet.

Juan is seated at a farther end, but within earshot and speaking distance. He's the jittier and more tense of the two.

"That wasn't too hard... how do you bring out the worst in law enforcement officers, the corrupt?" Juan asks.

"I don't look at it that way... I make friends. I'm a people person.", the Joker replies sardonically.

"Too bad we couldn't keep the fag-funds." Juan remarks.

The Joker then answers: "But if you hate gays... then technically taking money that they own is un-clean, am I right?... I hear that's a homosexual entrepreneur we would have been stealing from."

Inside the fuselage, there are hulking men - Juan's lackeys, but they are all deadpan.

The Joker draws out his .45 Gold Cup. He pulls the slide and chambers a round. Juan tenses and says, "Hey, mano you best not play with that in here!"

The Joker says: "You know... I'm a straight A-class, heterosexual male... I like women.  
I'm NOT an affable man by nature, but, I can be chivalrous towards women... I really can!... But I just don't get... why you gangster types are so... homophobic?"

Without a beat, the Joker trains his weapon towards Juan and just - POP! point shoots him. The report of the .45 resonates super loud inside the fuselage of the learjet.

Bruce Wayne exits Leonardo Da Vinci airport. It is 8: 00 AM in Rome Italy. He hails a cab.

"Dove stai andando?"

"Hotel Napoleon."

Inside the Hotel, Wayne carrying his luggage approaches the desk and makes the necessary arrangements.

At night, Wayne is waits on a park near a bayou. It is virtually deserted. Wayne holds a cellular phone and he is operating it as if it was some control pad for something.

Sure enough, the Bat-glider, soon looms overhead, and it descends, slowly and gracefully.  
It lands before Bruce, and positioned supine on it is the Bat-suit, the complete body armor, cape and cowl all hinged to it.

The next morning, Wayne strides through the collonade to watch the audience with the Pope. Thousands of pilgrims congregate in St. Peter's square.

Wayne injects himself into the crowd and sees the Pope appearing at the podium and the balcony of St. Peter's Basilica. The crowds applaud the appearance of the Pope.

The Pope addresses the crowd and says, "Buenos dias... he querido decir en Italiano, pero pienso soy mejor cuando digo en mi lingua primera..."

Wayne quips, "I'd like you to speak in MY first language though, Father."

The Pope continues, "Estamos aqui, hacer cambios... hacer cambios lo que necesitado en la santa iglesia catolica... hay muchos errores en el camino, nosotros creemos! Muchos!..."

People exchange confused looks at this. They understand Spanish all right.

"Es la verdad, lo que amor es el todo lo que necesitamos... pero que bien esta amor cuando, no conocemos El Dios Verdadero?"

Suddenly, an explosion rocks the entire St. Peter's square. Wayne flinches at this, and he sees that the Collonade has been blown to smithereens!

Inside St. Peter's Basilica, the Joker - even with make-up is masquerading as one of the clergymen, dressed in black cassocks, he pulls out a Sig SG556 Rifle, and fires a round,  
startling the rest of the pastors.

At this signal, some other traitors of clergymen draw the same model of rifles.

Semi-automatic gunfire resounds inside the Church.

Outside, Fr. Mandare and the Pope hear the gunfire, 2 Swiss Guards grab the Pope by the shoulders and usher him into safety, inside, they draw the drapes shut.

But inside the Pope's quarters, a priest with evil-clown make-up; the Joker, enters.

The Joker fires callously, semi-automatic rounds - first on the Swiss Guards whose blood abominably stain the walls of the Pope's quarters, and then the Joker shoots Fr.  
Mandare!

Outside, Wayne is fidgeting with his cellphone. He runs past the zone of pandemonium,  
he can see smoke billowing from the collonade. He must summon the Bat-glider, and get his Bat-suit.

Inside the Pope's quarters, the Joker drops the SIG Rifle and draws his ever so trusty .45 Gold Cup 1911.

"Rifles are too bulky... I prefer my... service... pistol." Gun in right hand, the Joker makes the sign of the cross with it.

He then trains it on the Pope, who stands, unshaken before him. The sounds of a panicking crowd are audible from outside.

The Joker says, "You know what, Father..."

The Joker steps closer... "I'm a Catholic." The Joker shifts his gaze and then, "Well, born and raised... though non-practicing... and I'm not sure I want to see any changes in Roman dogma... you know why? You know what it means being a Catholic to me?... it means,  
going to Church, any time before Communion... making the 'sign' of peace... Peace. When there is no peace, but pretending anyway... and being able to pray to more than one god,  
Jesus, Mary, Joseph, all the angels and saints... and to justify it, before hateful Protestants! Justify by NOT calling it... worship but..." The Joker's voice drops an octave.

"... veneration."

The Pope barks out his stern response, "It is precisely for those errors that I call to change!"

"...And the Sicilian mob might go prissy and preachy and Bible thumpy all of a sudden...", the Joker roars, "That's unthinkable!!"

Joker then steps closer to the Pope and touches the .45 to his forehead.

Batman hovers through the panicked crowd. He is riding the Bat-glider, he storms through St. Peter's Basilica, when he is indoors - he sees priests with guns and rifles!

They fire at him!

Batman detaches himself from the glider which clatters on the floor.

He then takes on the men, disarming them of their stolen SIG Rifles.

Batman displays his grace as a lone agent of special force fighting technique and ninjutsu.  
He easily disarms 3 of the rifle-toting priests with his Bat-shurikens.

"Catholicism, is... Institutional, yes; it's a political entity, yes... but it's liberal... I mean,  
Father could you imagine that non-Catholic denominations are as oppressive as the Soviet Communists! By Jesus... Mary... and Joseph, I wouldn't want the Catholic Church to be that way." the Joker states, gun still trained on Pope Jacobos' forehead.

"Christianity is absolute, mi amigo comico... you're either commited to serving the cause of Charity... or you're a lover of sin. In between is apathy, gray, spiritual agnosia... I suppose that's where YOU belong." The Pope answers.

"Spiritual agnosia, is too strong a term, Father." The Joker says in a tone of mock courtesy... "I'm... what American kids these days might say... Softcore believer. Softcore Catholic."

Pope Jacobos manages to use his left arm to dislodge the Joker of his pistol, it clatters to the floor. Pope Jacobos punches the Joker in the face. But the Joker instantly recovers,  
bends down, retrieves the Sig rifle and fires a round, BLAM!

This nails the Pope to his wooden desk, the Pope collapses, his back on the table. The Joker gets up, the Pope resting on his table; the Joker's gun - then resting on the Pope's upperbody, directly trained at his chin.

"Now, Father... it's time for you to go... so things can remain - status quo."

Just when Joker is about the pull the trigger, Batman busts into the room and hurls himself into the Joker, the Sig clatters to the floor once more, Batman grabs the Joker by his cassock.

The cassock rips, revealing Joker's purple suit. Batman rips it completely, punches Joker. Hard on the face. And then takes him out of the room.

"Oh, hook... line and... sinker! I didn't know you listened in on NSA Transmissions"  
The Joker says as he is being manhandled out, onto the Church area.

"You masterminded all of this?" Batman asks.

"Nah, it was Irish Protestants and Mohammedan Turks."

Batman escorts Joker into the area where the Bat-glider is.

"You invested a lot of time into this! Just to hurt the new Pope!"

"Oh, no, no, no, no, no..." Joker says in his sardonic tone, "No, hurting people was never my intention!... All I wanted was to be sure he doesn't start a movement that would turn the mob into Bible thumping fundamentalists. Born again Catholics? Catholic Fundamentalists? Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha!"

Batman attaches himself supine to the Bat-glider and holds the Joker at bay.

Batman launches the Bat-glider.

Batman, vis-a-vis the Batglider and holding the Joker soars through St. Peter's square,  
through Rome through mass panic...

In the air, the Joker says, "You really should get rid of me for good... I'm betting I'm gonna be number 1 on Interpol's hit list, FBI, CIA... Kill me!"

Batman answers, "I've found religion today... maybe some other time,"

Then Batman hurls the Joker towards the Tiber river, the Joker cackles in his descent and crashes into the water.

Batman is inside the Pope's quarters. The Pope still rests, back flat on his table, his wounded abdomen is bathed in blood.

"I'll get you to a hospital, Father." Batman declares.

"No... not yet, hear me out..." The Pope implores. He continues: "All I wanted... was to change things, for the better... I wanted to get rid of the things that cause confusion,  
scandal... and my plans ruined."

Batman makes a gesture as if to carry the Pope.

"No!! Wait... wait... I suppose, I became a man too idealistic, and I made enemies, my enemies are symbolized by Satan... by that madman!... But I suppose I'll have to settle.  
The Church will have to settle for striving for love and compassion. Love and compassion. The only thing that matters. The only thing that separates us from lions.  
That makes us like lambs among lions... Love and... compassion..."

The Pope's speech begins to slur, he repeats those 2 last words... and he dies.

2 WEEKS LATER

Batman and Jim Gordon meet on one of the rooftops, at night.

"I would have wanted you to bring him back... But now the Joker's alone and a hunted man and you've lifted a considerable burden from my shoulders." Gordon says.

"I've done that as a personal and selfish act... I'm not sure I could take life willingly"  
Batman says, speaking in a very low octave.

"I wouldn't blame you... right now, the corruption that still goes on at the department,  
the killings that still escalate - even with you around... I hold on to principles, but not with a struggle." Gordon admits.

"Someone once told me," Batman says, "That compassion is a weakness our enemies will not share... but the Pope told me love and compassion are the only essential things to make sure things go right for the most part... and I've always agreed, that's it's what separates us, from the villains."

THE END. 


End file.
